QUOTES-REALLIFE-04 was last updated at Wed Jul 6 13:15:40 2005.
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ben: (eating a bacon and egg death sandwich) "Did you hear that?"
Trapper: "No, what?"
ben: "It's as if a thousand voices cried out in terror and then suddenly
stopped. I think it was my arteries."Syn: "Yeah, because we're really into goat porn." Alex: "Isn't that legal?" Syn: "Alex, I want you to do one thing for me. Get consent from a goat."
DanBlood: "We're not trying to cheat, it's just a reflex."
Lizzie: "So, if everything Disney say isn't true, does that mean 2+2
isn't 2?"[playing chess] Kitty: (looks away at the time) "What did you move?" syn: "Your queen."
barakta: (says something inaudible) purple: "Did you just say Birmingham was minging?" barakta: "No, I said SPERM was minging!"
purple: "I don't think this is suitable conversation for the dinner
table."
red_pill: "Neither do I. This table is far too young to hear that sort
of smut."Kitty: "Alex, you're drunk when three people say you're drunk." Morti: "You're drunk!" Tiggs: "You're drunk!" Deeps: "You're drunk!" [together]
All you need now is a bullet-proof map.
Tanedra, discussing a jacket with a map-sized pocket over the heart
[looking round the oil and vinegar shop]
typo: "There's so much cool stuff in here. If you want to buy me a
Christmas present, this would be a good place to choose something."
red_pill: (examining the prices) "So that'll be the paper napkins,
then."red_pill: "Can you make a 'doom' module for iBot?" foo: "Yes." red_pill: "Cool." foo: "What would it do?" red_pill: "Um..."
Ad: "Yeah, we should organise another #cs meet." InsomniaCity: "But people like Trapper never come!" Krenom: "Maybe you're not doing it right?"
Lottie: "Dargh!" Jase: "Dargh?" Lottie: "Yes. It's like 'argh', but with more 'dar'."
Kitty: "I'm starting to think it was a bad idea to sit between these
two."
typo: "What? Me and my dear daughter?"
Kitty: "Spawn of Satan and Baby Satan."
Trapper: "That's Baby Spawn of Satan, thanks."typo: "Paul Osborne was asking about you yesterday. He asked if you were
my son and said that you seemed very hyper. He also said that you
seemed to have a vivid imagination."
red_pill: "Oh, so he's got a high opinion of me, then."
typo: "No, he thinks you're a raving nutter."
red_pill: "Compared to what most people think of me, that *is* a high
opinion."Berserker: (throwing hands up excitedly) "Dexy's Midnight Runners!" Ad: "What? Up there?"
Beatriz: "Oh, it's so nice to have Richard cooking again" Richard: (from the kitchen) "Oh, blast!" Beatriz: "What? Is it burning?" Richard: "Yes, slightly..." Beatriz: "Didn't you put the pinger on?" Richard: "I'm sure I did!" Moof: "You were saying, Mum?" [pinger goes off]
[Trapper whistles the Carol of the Bells]
ben: "You know what would be really cool? If we lined up a whole load of
Dell PCs and had them playing that on their speakers."
Trapper: "Why?"
ben: "'Cause then it would be the Carol of the Dells."Life is like a box of chocolates where only the shitty ones are left.
ben, watching Forrest Gump
[typo being accosted by a French rude mechanical at a party] typo: "Moof! Please, tell them something to get them off me!" Moof: (in Spanish) "She is married, you know." Rude Mechanical: "Ah, is OK, my wife, she is over there."
[typo being accosted by a French rude mechanical at a party]
Rude Mechanical: "So, you see, French is ze language of love."
typo: "Ah, you French. You see, you just can't stop talking about it.
All you ever *do* is talk about it. We English prefer to just shut
up and do it."[playing a game where you have to name animals] syn: "Egg fried rice!" Kitty: "That's not an animal." syn: "It is if you leave it for seven days."
[on typo's birthday] Trapper: "I even washed up the pans." typo: "What? All the ones in the sink?" Trapper: "No, I don't love you *that* much."
Gatport Airwick, the all new fragrance for your home. Experience the authentic Benidorm smell of suntan cream infused with alcohol fumes mixed with the heady aroma of kerosene and duty-free perfume!
Atuin
She's gone ahead and snuffed it, Hooray, we're glad she's gone, She's made her final typo but her computer still lives on
Trapper, suggesting an obituary for typo on her birthday
[in Ypres town square; Roy's card has been rejected by a cash machine]
Stefan: "See? This is why Natwest are crap."
Roy: "Which bank are you with, then?"
Stefan: "HSBC -- the world's local bank -- accepted anywhere. That's why
I use it."
[Stefan inserts his card, and is instantly rejected]Apparently I've been idle for 3 minutes and 27 seconds. I don't know how, though -- I've been fingering myself, so how could I be idle?
Chris
Ryian: "I've always wondered about Seraph -- where he's from etc. I've
heard lots of rumours. I heard he was Canadian..."
Mikerosoft: "Yeah, he is! He's from Leeds!"Peter: "... and I missed the last episode of Doctor Who." Mario: "Doctor Who? Is that a TV series?" [stunned silence] Maria: "Well, have you heard of Daleks?" Mario: "As in the spice?"
Bunny: "Large stuffed crust Hawaiian." DW: "Individual chicken supreme." Waitress: "And you, which pizza would you like?" Rince: "Chocolate fudge cake with extra bacon." Waitress: "Deep pan or Italian? Oh, wait..."
Security guard: "Mrs. Overal, is your name Mary?"
typo: "No, why?"
Security guard: "There's a young man down here, look like Jesus, say
he's looking for his mother."Submissions and corrections to Adam Sampson <quotes@offog.org>