QUOTES-REALLIFE-02 was last updated at Fri Jul 18 21:42:00 2003.
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Either he'll take to it like a duck to water, or he'll sink like a duck with detergent soaked into its feathers.
bUrt
Phill: <talking about sex> "Well, obviously not many people here are getting
any."
OSarah: <snatches hand away> "And another one."Jenny: "Have you seen Mark around?" Paul (returning to office): "Not in the toilet, no."
As long as it is windy, I'll always be able to pull a kite.
Paul, talking about the difference between spending money on a kite or a girl
Tim: "I had a look for the only copy of that thing, and I couldn't find it." bUrt: "You're going to have to be more specific." Tim: "Well, I can't remember what it is, only that I couldn't find it."
Tim: "What's your feelings on passwords?" Pete: "They're a very good idea."
<outside a pub, discussing whether to go back to GeeeZa's...> Vikki: "Let's go!" GeeeZa: "Woohoo!" <GeeeZa starts walking, and the group follows, then stops> GeeeZa: "Hang on, I live that way..."
bUrt: "At some point, there will be a security advisory for /bin/true." Tim: "What, there's a buffer overflow and you can make it return false?"
[watching Buffy]
ben: "Have you ever noticed that Willow only has one computer? You know what
that means? Willow isn't as geeky as Mel."
la_haine (to Mel): "Don't listen to him. He's just jealous. He wishes he was as
geeky as you too."Paul: "I'm sure that guy is probably famous to Americans." (whilst gesturing at
the TV)
Tim: "Erm, Paul, it's Robert De Niro."
Paul: "Oh."[in SBS office]
Leon: "There's an e-mail saying all CS staff should keep their handbags in
cupboards."
Ben: "We don't have a cupboard."
Leon: "I don't have a handbag either!"(after a brief discussion about consumer ethics) Robbo: "Well, you're the one wearing Adidas trousers." Mark: "Yes, but I'm not enjoying them."
Life> simulate (new (50,30) []) ERROR - Garbage collection fails to reclaim sufficient space Life> quit ERROR - Undefined variable "quit" Life> exit ERROR - Undefined variable "exit" Life> help ERROR - Undefined variable "help" Life> argh ERROR - Undefined variable "argh" Life> let me out ERROR - Syntax error in declaration (unexpected `}', possibly due to bad layout) Life> north ERROR - Undefined variable "north" Life> kill grue ERROR - Undefined variable "grue" Life> get sword ERROR - Undefined variable "sword" Life> look ERROR - Undefined variable "look" Life>
found on vindaloo
Matt: "I was never good with big numbers." Ramsay: "We're computer scientists -- we have binary, so we never get to 2". Matt: "Yeah, but I do statistics, and we never quite get to 1..."
ntm: "In Law, it's extremely difficult to get over 70% in an essay, but he'd
give high marks for good dissertations."
Paul: "You should blow him."
ntm: "I don't think he's homosexual, um, and nor am I."If I had a million sparrows, I would bake me a pie...
Ben and Mark, to the tune of "If I Had A Million Dollars"
You say potato, I say-- ooh, buy one get one free.
Paul, getting distracted in Sainsburys while talking about an American friend
Mozarella is the ultimate fetish item, because it's both rubbery and cheese.
Ramsay, grating cheese for pizza
Fight? *Fight*? I thought that was foreplay.
Skel, talking about Trapper and ducttape wrestling
Will you stop banging that spoon, before I bang you!
Trapper, trying to stop Mortuus tapping a spoon on his shoe
creature: "It's a diuretic. It draws the water out of your body." Sellars: "Where does it go?"
<bUrt turns key on swallow to power it on> bUrt: "It hasn't turned on." Tim: "Yeah, it's one of these things with a soft-on button." bUrt: <pushes button> "It's still not turned on." Tim: "You probably need to push it harder." bUrt: "Ah, there we go. So it's a hard-on button, then?"
I thought that said "Windows has been installed for your safety".
SlimeyPete, looking at safety signs on a train
(cooking bolognese) Mark: "I want it cooked for about two minutes after you stop seeing pink." Ramsay: "I never stop seeing pink. I have the Internet."
Ducttape: "Wow, big wood chipping." Allan: "I hate to break it to you, but that's a tree."
Terry: "Civ 3 fucked up my final year." Allan: "Dude, you got a first!" Terry: "Yeah, but I fucked up my first."
... and the triangle has two sides, with two sides on one side, and one side on the other side...
Mark, describing a diagram
Oh! I'm terribly sorry!
foo, turning round in an SF department store and bumping into a mannequin
Mortuus47: [being beaten with chopsticks] Ow! My fingers! padme: Well, you *would* put them in front of your testicles...
[Bowling in Ashford] Sellars: How much is a spare worth? Lindsey: A spare what?
creature: "What exactly is a circadian rhythm, anyway?" Clarie: "I don't know, you're the musician."
Clarie: "Alex irons all his clothing. He even irons his underwear."
creature: "But I only just press my socks so they are flat and fit in the
drawer better! It's not like I iron both sides of them!"You're making me wet. I'd better rephrase that.
Creature, being splashed with water
Morti: It worries me that you've designed a PHP script just to download porn. Creature: I haven't, it's a perl script.
"Sunray is an international spiritual society dedicated to planetary peace." Hm, that's not quite the documentation I was looking for.
Pete, looking at sunray.org
[talking about installing Solaris] Darren: "Is it like installing Debian, where you keep pressing Return?" Pete: "No, it's completely different. You keep pressing F2."
[via SMS...] Trapper: "You arrived in Tunbridge Wells yet?" Rah: "No, we got to dartford and headed for canters. We got to north fleet and realised that we weren't going there... Just back on the m25 towards tun. wells :-)"
Submissions and corrections to Adam Sampson <quotes@offog.org>