>> Ducttape is dyslexic. What's your excuse? > Dear Comrade, > I am also dyslexic, and it has been mentioned on misc before! Ah ok. Apologies then. Do you also have an illness which explains why you're such a jerk? -- pc24, lbja2 and pc24 on ukc.misc % Tiggs: yeah and what was it you said to me "i only go out with one girlf at a time" then you post saying you have 2 on the go, you are a complete twat "Lord" Lenny: Ah you remembered, well OK so I might have bent the truth a bit, but that was I was thinking of hitting on you at Nat's party last night,but went out with GF instead. Because I wanted to take you out makes me a twat ? well if taking you out makes a guy a twat then you only go out with twats then, is that what your saying ? Tiggs: no what makes you a twat is having 2 on the go, not for someone hitting on me. you're a liar and a cheat and if you had have tried to hit on me I'd have laughed in your face sorry. "Lord" Lenny : LOL I was only going to so it would upset Ducttape, your not really my type. A I already have 2 GF's, I don't care if I get turned down I'm not like all the other "whimps" you hang around with, you'd never really be able to "keep" a guy like me (no offence) ! Tiggs: those "whimps" are my friends and i wouldnt want them hitting on me anyway and "no offence" but i wouldnt wanna "keep a guy" like you anyway. you're a liar and a cheat and i wouldnt be seen dead going out with you! "Lord" Lenny: Wow, that sounded HOT, where are you ? Facny a drink ? Tiggs: ROFLMFAOWTIME Tiggs (chuckle) -- tnr2 on alt.culture.ukc.misc, quoting private email % And so ends 6 years of my miscing. Misc has seen the best of times, and it's seen the worst of times, it's had an age of wisdom, it's going through an age of foolishness, it had an epoch of belief (religious threads), it had an epoch of incredulity (political threads), it had a season of Light (summer vacations), it had a season of Darkness (Michalmas terms), it had a spring of hope (miscmeets etc), it had a winter of despair (Sept-Dec 2001), we had everything before us (hundreds of threads), we had nothing before us (all containing complete crud), we were all going direct to Heaven (according to some threads), we were all going direct the other way (according to la haine) - in short, the last 6 years have been lots of fun at times (Nimrod, pc4, jh5, Myran, la haine, Dan the Man, Brendan, ptc1), and had some crap times (Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, Lenny, September Ecks, and sometimes Nimrod in a bad mood). But what a laugh it has been (and what a distraction from my work, ladida...). -- Nick Shaw on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > Subject: I miss Canters > *sigh* I'm sure there's some stables near you. -- Mark Fendley and Karla Parussel on alt.culture.ukc.misc % I can't be arsed to read through most of the thread in which ducttape announced his being run over, as it's largely ducttape being wrong, however, I'd like to say 2 things. 1) Ducttape, you are WRONG. About Everything. Ever. 2) In the unlikely event that the truck driver is reading acum, well done. Get in touch, I'll buy you a drink. -- bcc3 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > God, this is one of the most boring threads ever. What if the drivers were socialists and the cyclists capitalists? -- pc24 and mnd2 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % >>> The music that plays when you enter a building, stomp through the streets, >>> or whatever. If you could pick one piece of music to be your theme, what >>> would it be? >> Little Green Bag, by George Baker > No, Ben, I think yours should be Fraggle Rock ;) And yours should be anything from Hair: The Musical ;) -- ph9, bcc3, ms9 and bcc3 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > Aren't white trousers brilliant? You can see girls' pants straight through > them. You were white trousers on your head? -- "Run MDC" and aejm1 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % The good thing about working at McDonalds is you get to serve all the fit girls when they come in from the sun to buy their flurrys. The downside, of course, is that when they come in, they see you're working at McDonalds..... -- "Jambon" on alt.culture.ukc.misc % >>> Join the club, I say. >>> "Hello, my name is Adam, >>> a haiku addict." >> >> Hello, I am Matt, >> I'm also addicted to >> Haiku. I need help. > > Indeed, don't we all. > I find that alcohol is > The best solution. If I were to be pedantic, alcohol is the best solvent too. -- ats1, md27, bcc3 and ats1 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > Well, we are so short staffed at the moment that things like this couldn't > be considered but even if we had the time/manpower there are a few things > that would need to be overcome first. What! You were short staffed when I worked there. Whats happened since to decrease the numbers even further? :-) -- Paul Osborne on ukc.nethelp (a few weeks after he left Service for Science) % >> ducttapes is 31st august :) > /me hires a trebuchet for birthday bumps. This is why I hate my birthday. -- tnr2, md27 and dif2 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % I had a dream where I was contacted by this dodgy bloke who told me these people with shades and Desert Eagles were after me and that I had to climb onto the roof to get away from them, but I was too scared so they caught me and put a bug on me, and when I woke up, they weird blokey contacted me again and I met up with these people who took the bug out of me and then led me to the weird blokey in person who gave me a pill which made things go all screwy and then I woke up in this weird gooey tube with no hair and loads of plugs all over me, where I got flushed down this big tube and picked up by this big claw from a big UFO thingy. When I woke up I was told I had been living in a dream world all my life and I was trained to fight these people with shades and desert eagles and I had this scrap with the weird bloke but he won coz he was better, and then he took me to see this dodgy woman who gave me a cookie and was deliberately vague even though she was supposed to tell me the future, and then the blokes with shades and desert eagles kidnapped the weird bloke and tortured him and I had to go and rescue him with this well fit bird who liked wearing tight PVC and I had loads of guns and killed them all, but then I got trapped with one of the blokes in shades with a desert eagle and had a big scrap with him and he chased me all over town until he shot me and I died but back in the real world the well fit bird kissed me and I came back to life and killed the bloke with the shades and desert eagle and the other two ran away coz I had realised that I was a badass and then I ran to the fone and woke up with the well fit bird on my lap and then I foned up the blokes with shades and desert eagles and told them they were naughty and then I flew away to the soothing sounds of Rage Against the Machine and then I woke up. No, wait... that was a film.... -- md27 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % Single male, 27, 200lb, into sport, beer, The Simpsons, Alan Partridge and egg sandwiches WLTM similar (preferably male) flatmates with GSOH and more beer, to share 3-bedroom flat in St Stephens, Canterbury. -- Sarah Tong on ukc.adverts % I need to have help from a native english speaker who can correct use of english on my postgraduate dissertation. Really desperated. -- des3 on ukc.adverts % > (plus hard-drive with windows installed if you like - it can be cheaper than > buying it, even after the student discount). Really? Cheaper than 30p for a CD-R? -- Brendan Dodds and aejm1 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % The band I was in when I was 14 (the imaginatively named Headonfire) were featured in a German documentary. The lead singer had been approached by a film crew in town and asked if they could follow him for a day. That day happened to involve a band practice. He was really scuzzy looking and I think they may have thought he was homeless so they were a bit annoyed to follow him home and find his dad was a vicar. -- Paul Greenhalgh on alt.culture.ukc.misc % >>> I've had a little too much suger. :/ >> Said the ent. > I dont get it. Did I miss the joke? :/ Yes, but it wesn't very funny enywey, so don't worry. -- jc26, pc24, jc26 and pc24 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > Can you varify that every CD you put in is trusted? What about that freebee > one that you just got in the post? It is poor security to do such a > thing. Yes. Casual CD insertion can ruin lives. If you must do it, use protection. -- dif2 and md27 on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > On one of my linux boxes the time keeps changing erratically [...] * Takes hands away from the control * Yeah, sorry about that -- was experimenting with my time machine in an effort to remove certain people from existance. I'll try and make sure you don't notice next time. -- aejm1 and ms9 on ukc.comp.sys.linux % > sorry I'm french Well, I'm sure it's not your fault :) -- jb21 and ph9 on ukc.nethelp % I think this deserves an haiku: A double vodka with just one shot of archers tastes just like petrol. -- pjm2 on ukc.misc % And if they are so worried about their precious security why didnt they just give us a normal phone line and we all could have just connected to a normal internet service provider like AOL or something. I mean that probably would have been cheaper, and we could have just brought our own modems. -- cm63 on ukc.nethelp % > I have network (a) and I have network (b) computer (1) is on both > network (a) and network (b) using a different network card for each > network. Now computer (2) in on network (a) and computer (3) is on > network (b). [...] network (a) leaves Oxford Street at 8:45am, and travels along the Bakerloo line at the speed of 45mph, and computer (2) is travelling along the Circle line at approximately 30mph, having left Victoria at 7:33am. Given a windspeed of 3mph, which one will reach Mornington Crecsent first? -- nar4 and Paul Haine on ukc.nethelp % > I don't think the University has any justification to Block public PCs from > using the MSN Messenger. I personally use it - or lets say used to use it- > as a communication method between me and my family , now all what I got is > emails which aren't as interactive as the MSN Messenger. > I strongly suggest that the people in charge of the firewall to > reconsider! I don't think the University has any justification for not providing free telephone calls for all undergraduate students. I personally use the telephone - or lets say used to use it- as a communication method between me and my family , now all what I got is emails which aren't as interactive as the telephone. I strongly suggest that the people in charge of the University telephone system to reconsider! -- ya5 and Ian Utting on ukc.nethelp % >yeah good point, why can't any halls especially park wood except incoming >calls. It does seem rather absurd! G'day operator. I'd like to make a reverse charge [collect] call to . I'll put you through. I've a reverse charge call from Australia. Will you accept the charges? Shit yes. Get the picture? -- cm65 and Ian Utting on ukc.nethelp % I nearly ran over a cyclist today, on my way up to campus in my jeep. Don't worry, I reversed over him. Little lycra-wearing homosexual bastards. Ducttape -- Opinions expressed are not those of Steering, and possibly not even myself. -- Brendan Dodds on alt.culture.ukc.misc % > > bensons, marlboro lights. email for more details. cartons of 200 > What does this have to do with "UKC Network discussion and help"? Not much, but if it had been doughnuts for sale you wouldn't have minded ;o) -- ds2, Tim Bishop and nar4 on ukc.nethelp % > If other unis can manage to provide an internet service, I'm sure UKC can > too. It's all a matter of stubborness. That's right, Alex. When we say 'we don't have the money or the staff or the permission or the justification', it's actually all just stubborness. The reality is that in Cornwallis, where the students aren't allowed, there's THE BIGGEST ROOM OF MONEY YOU'VE EVER SEEN! Just like the one Uncle Scrooge has in 'Ducktales'. We all swim in it. Except we have to take turns, because there's a massive queue, what with all the extra staff we employ. -- aejm1 and Paul Haine on ukc.nethelp % > bensons, marlboro lights. email for more details. cartons of 200 I am sure that Her Majesty's Customs and Excise would be delighted to take some of these good off of your hands. I suspect that they would be quite enthusuastic about providing alternative forms of accomodation for you at the same time, but it may be a tad difficult to complete your degree. [...] Regards ( I don't do best wishes anymore ) Paul -- ds2 and Paul Osborne on ukc.nethelp % TO ALL YOU LOVELY COMPUTER PERSONS, I AM LOOKING FOR AN MP3 ALL OFFERS CONSIDERED -- mmm5 on ukc.comphelp % Monty (IRC bot) said that Smaf had signed on IRC at 3:15 that morning, and a quick WHOIS showed that he'd been idle for 16 hours, and a quick look downstairs showed me that he was having sex on my sofa -- Bill Hayes on his LiveJournal % >> You know we don't sleep :) > > I do. Yes, we know :) The difference is, I do it at home ;) -- Tim Bishop, Paul Osborne and Tim Bishop on ukc.cs.cs3 % > Perl, elegant?! Even Larry Wall describes Perl as the `Swiss Army > Chainsaw' :-) And when was the last time you dared to call anyone wielding a chainsaw inelegant? ;) -- Mark Wheadon and Ben Charlton on ukc.cs.cs3 % > The proxies are crap as a general rule. Three years or so I ran them for and the best bit of constructive criticism you can come out with is: "The proxies are crap as a general rule." Thanks. -- mnd2 and Paul Osborne on ukc.nethelp % > if your a 2k or xp user then xp antispy, will solve your problems for > you, it'll even let you uninstall it altogether, has a few other very > nice little tweaks and another bonus is it's just an exe file so it > won't clog your registry up even further. EXE files are very good at clogging up the registry - most registry entries come from exe files. -- nf3 and cdl4 on ukc.comphelp % > I won't name names, but there was a course a couple of years ago where > the lecturer concerned got the students into groups and then said they > should give their groups names (for submission of an assessment). > Some of the groups couldn't, even when pressed, come up with a name. > > They had to admit defeat and we invented names for them. Very sad. On the other hand, I had an assessment a couple of years ago, too, where one of the groups were not over-confident about their abilities. So they named their group 'Norfolk in Chance'. It took me a depressingly long time to work out why! -- Mark Wheadon and Duncan Langford on ukc.cs.cs2 % Here is a big list o' stuff I want... 1 - Girlfriend... must be reliable good sense of humour and like radiohead... 2 - INTERESTING GUITAR EFFECTS PEDALS... if anyone has any gtfx pedals for sale let me know... I have very little cash at the mo but let me know what you would consider selling and how much for... I am just looking to get a range of pedals that don't normally go together... I like weird and fooked up noises... 3 - Friends needed... plus must like lager and Guinness. And talking about me. 4 - ANALOGUE RADIO... I would like to get my hands on a CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP analogue radio with headphone/line out... it needs to tune manually so you can get the "swishy" (technical term that is!) noise... I wish to push it through my gtfx pedals for some noises as described above... 5 - BAND!!! RATM to RADIOHEAD... Jazz to Industrial LOST ALL THE REPLIES FROM THE "young man seeks jam post" ESPECIALLY GOOD TO HEAR FROM MARK MATT AND ANDREW SO... in short I want a girlfriend, gtfx pedals, friends, and a radio... I am very good looking (my mum and gran BOTH say so... two people cant possibly be wrong!) and don't smell. And I'm very rich * Please help me... and yes, I do feel quite rude putting a notice up detailing stuff I want... Chris "The Iron Mollusc" Youe *your definition of rich may not agree PRECISELY with mine... -- cy5 on ukc.adverts % > Hi, can anybody tell me how to get raptor on my system. I live on campus. Well you could put it on your system, but its damn heavy and rather large so it would prob fall off and somewhat damage your case :) -- nk7 and Pete Saunders on ukc.nethelp % > I have Editplus for windows and it used to display all my open files in > maximized windows however after clicking something once it doesn't open > them maximized anymore ah, yes, the editplus complex. -- nar4 and ejc6 on ukc.comphelp % >> and how many times in life have we seen crap products rule a market (even if >> only briefly) because of clever marketing. Popstars comes to mind >> instantly. > Christianity was what sprung to mind first actually. I have no problems with christianity, just reminds me of teh old classic computer game.... lemmings. -- maf4, dif2 and maf4 on ukc.misc % Applectionator for sale. One careful owner, 456juf capacity, full integration with pl4 pl5 and dl^(mk) 2 possible Cheap at ?1200 Only one in the country. -- mrj6 on ukc.adverts % Hello fellow friends! I, and two of my friends, are making a party tomorrow with House, Electro, Techno, and Psychedelic Trance. I thought maybe some of you listen to electronic music, as you are doing electronic studies. -- js32 on ukc.cs.cs1 % > if people are just not listening, why cant u create limited caches for > msn for people to use it. Haven't we been here before? We have no machine or time to set this up. If we ask for resources to do it then we have to justify it. This involves presenting the current state and the evidence of a need to change. Current state is that the current service is mainly used for porn and pirate software/movies. Evidence of a need to change is shown by the number of official requests that we have had for a msn service (hint: it is less than 1). Oddly, arguing that we need money to increase the porn and warez service to allow something that no-one has requested doesn't seem to work. -- ks51 and Darren Chapman on ukc.comphelp % >> Does LGBT officer stand for lesbian gay bi trisexual officer? >> won't be suprised if it is. > No, it stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans. Transformers were cool. I'm glad they're being represented on campus. -- ld6, dif2 and Paul Haine on ukc.misc % 'I heard at Christchurch they're getting Jesus to play! And tickets are only £12, *and* they get to use MSN and Sharescan and Kazaa the whole time, *and* they're changing their name to the University of Kent at Canterbury.' -- Paul Haine on ukc.misc % > Please can you help - I want to play these games badly Have you tried playing left handed/with your eyes closed/whilst drunk. I find I play really badly in all these circumstances. -- jg22 and djw8 on ukc.nethelp % Hitler was left wing. -- bs20 on ukc.misc % > Something wong with ke - boad cannot tpe cetain chaactes, help!?!??!?!?! In the short term, avoid people called Roy or Ray, don't discuss years, don't plan a holiday in Reykjavic and don't do any geese impressions.... -- kew5 and dp3 on ukc.comphelp %