UKCIRC quotes, 2007

<belmob> Am so hungry
*** belmob has quit [Connection reset by peer]
<Mikerosoft> bel has eatern her phone :O

<Atuin> http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mung
<kimble> do i want to ...no i didn't

<SuperGiraffe> anyone want to apply through me for clearing? :P
<syn> i want to spend four years pissing about and end up tens of thousands of pounds in debt with a degree that will get me nowhere in a field i'm probably not very good at anyway
<syn> drama, please

<SuperMatt> i reckon geeks could code better if they could do it in the bath
<Jibbler> no, they would use too much SOAP
* SuperMatt slaps Jibbler
<Jibbler> then they could clean the bath out with AJAX

* Stotty|work peers at advice for the busiest roads this weekend: "Predicted busiest routes: M25, M1, M4, M5, M6"
* kimble predicts bears shitting in the woods and an outbreak of catholocism in the general direction of the vatican

<Twigathy> Remember kids, when troubleshooting 100% packet loss don't forget to plug in *Both* ends of the ethernet cable *facedesk*

<mike_> Damn shame we are not in US :/
<mike_> can easily just lookup an IP toa 25mile rad
<wfk> do they have a different Internet?
<mike_> according to the website you mentioned, yes.
<wfk> and who claims that? The company trying to sell you that service?
<wfk> have you verified their claim?
<mike_> i've verified that kent is now in amsterdam...

* BleanD ponders putting pizza in the oven
<ats> that's probably a better choice than most of the kitchen appliances
<ats> putting pizza in the tumble dryer, for example, would result in unsatisfactory texture
<ats> and using the dishwasher would make the base unacceptably sogguy
<purps> and the fridge most likely won't even fit in the oven

* ben raids his stash of cheap dealextreme keyrings
<Trapper> why?
<ben> the one on my keyring has finally died
<ben> well, it works
<ben> but it's so dim it's practically a CS student

* Moof looks at the naked light and sees ten thousand people, maybe more.
<Atuin> o.o
<Moof> People talkign without speaking. People hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never share.
<Moof> And no-one dared disturb the sound of silence.
<Moof> except Atuin.

<Stotty> I just fell over the vacuum cleaner
<kimble> did it break, or is it not a dyson?

<~BOfH> As a wise man once said "he who run tcpdump over SSH, should first specify port"

* kimble throws a TooMuchCurryException()
<pao> kimble: you made that up!

<kimble> do you ever get that character-in-a-douglas-adams-novel feeling?
* foo nods at kimble
<foo> ... usually on Thursdays

<Stotty|work> o.O "the EU following in the footsteps of the US in that they are contemplating requiring all 27 member states to collect data on airline passengers and to retain it for up to 13 years"
<Si|mon> thats an odd number
<Si|mon> quite literally

<elate> dunno I don't even watch jrtprd
<elate> jrtprd would be heroes if I was using a sun jetviard

<Stotty|work> "Police body urges shooting"
* Stotty|work resizes window
<Stotty|work> "Police body urges shooting debate"

* kimble thinks . o O ( NOTE FROM OPERATOR: YOU ARE TALKING TO AN IDIOT IN AN INDIAN CALLCENTRE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND TYPETALK, PLEASE HOLD WHILE I BEAT THEM WITH THE CLUEBAT )

* mop goes to suck on a gherkin
<kimble> that sounds like innuendo, but the reality's more disturbing
* Jibbler would rather suck on something else than a gherkin...
<mop> Moof: you heard him

<Jibbler> sometimes i just find myself thinking, "i love pivot tables" :-/
<kimble> they're what banks use instead of software engineers

<typo> pill is playing christmas songs
* kimble thinks . o O ( * belldandy_pill is now known as Asda )

*** Trapper|Nodnol^Joseph is now known as Trapper
* Stotty wonders whether it's time to go go go to bed where any dream will do
<TheLib> go, go, go stotty
* Stotty closes every door behind him
<TheLib> would you like a pharoh story to go to sleep with?

[talking about the plushie models of germs]
<~naxxtor> my ex gf gave her biology teacher herpes

[kimble was born on October 10th]
<kimble> of course, by cunningly being born on a nice format-agnostic date, it works as a basic intelligence test for bank drones and the like
<Stotty|work> bet they still get it wrong
<kimble> they tend to ask which is the month, then lock up and need rebooting if i say it doesn't matter

<Morti> Is that TFT monitor likely to come with a power cable?
<Seraph> if not, it's not suitable for use, is it?
<elate> how else would you connect it to an electricity fountain?
<Oziris|helldesk> stick a fork in a socket and parcel tape it to the back of the monitor?

<dmc|home> fucksake
<dmc|home> I just got an onion out of the fridge
<dmc|home> chopped it up to go in my steak sarnie
<dmc|home> only to realise it's a kiwi fruit...

[Bob is Jibbler's kitten]
* kimble hmms at mouse crashing
<Jibbler> bob can fix it
<kimble> but his computer skills seem to be limited to turning things off....ahh
<kimble> when's he getting his MCSE?

* ats ponders starting a Mad Science Research Group
<kimble> sounds good to me
<Moof> ats: you just want an excuse to write a paper on the effectiveness of manical laughter
<ats> that's mad metascience, surely? ;)

<ben|zzz> 'PAYMENTSTATUS' => 'Completed',
<pao> working then?
<ben|zzz> more or less, yeah
* Atuin hopes he'll be declaring it to the taxman ;)
<Trapper> nope, the whole point of this project is to defraud the taxman
* ben|zzz nods at trapper
<ben|zzz> I'm going to make millions then let it to belize
<ben|zzz> /let/leg/
<Stotty> I have a better plan involving a canoe and a house in Panama

* typo blunders about in a semi coma
<MrTea> sounds like some obscure punctuation mark
<typo> it is
<typo> I'm just hoping I don't come to a full stop before I get to work

<elate|raptor> especially on one of those ?10 pci cards :p
<FanBoy> it cost me 15 questionmarks actually elate

<purple> Rabbit Travel Vibe scares me :(
<Trapper> it worries me that it's powered from the car lighter
<Trapper> how many crashes couldbe inadvertantly caused?
<Trapper> "sorry I ran the red light officer, but I was just having a quick orgasm using my little friend here"
<Trapper> "..."
<Trapper> "...would you like a go?"

* typo goes to attempt to detribble the hoover

* kimble reckons the secret to successful communicaion is to be allowed to tell people when it hasn't worked so you can throwaway your assumptions and start again. i reckon that's one of the really cool things about Deaf, and on a good day geek, culture

<ats> Moof: I'd rather they taught people to program before they taught them OO...
<ats> (but yes, Python's a good vehicle for that, since you can teach them simple stuff and then do OO in the same language, which you can't with Java)
<ben> or perl. perl is a great introduction to the relentless mental anguish that is CS.

* ka throws Trapper a bare naked lady or two ¬.¬
<Trapper> ka: \o/
<Trapper> ka: if I had a million dollars...
<ka> Trapper: oo, pinch me!
<Trapper> ka: I'm still asleep :(
<ka> pah, who needs sleep?
<Trapper> ka: broke into the old appartment
<ka> poor old enid :o
<Trapper> ka: pfft, Jane!
<ka> easy now, or brian wilson will come and get j00!
<Trapper> I know about you and that bank job!
<ka> he's a memeber of the angry people, you know!
<Trapper> he fell asleep at the wheel
<ka> i know, i bet he forgot the baby seat as well :(
<Trapper> damn damn damn
<Trapper> ka: I live with it every day in the Shoe box of life
<ka> must go shopping for some more alcohol, my alternative girlfriend ;o
<Trapper> I didn't mean to break your heart :(
* Trapper sends you another postcard

<Atuin> anyhow, a seagull wouldn't do too much to a 777 engine... would need to be a flock or some larger birds
<Jibbler> or a frozen turkey
<notben> frozen turkeys aren't often found flying round airfields...
<notben> unless it's a new kind of terrorist weapon
<notben> shoulder-launched frozen turkey cannon
<Atuin> notben: you never ate at AV8 at Kemble before it was taken over then... ;)
<notben> "bernard matthews in al-quaeda supply ring shocker!"

* kimble notes a tanker has appeared and is pumping out the sewage from no 25
<Jibbler> man, that's just taking the piss

* Si|mon thinks there should be a new show called "Beadle's *not* About"
<Xiphi> Si|mon: that joke was done in The Sun this morning
<foo> Si|mon: feeling put down?
<Si|mon> foo: yeh... to make the same joke as the sun is bad enough... to be beaten by them! :(

<Shish> Just thinking about tear gas grenades...
<Shish> Either it's a euphomism for "extremely painful eye-burning gas"
<Shish> Or they're full of kittens who pop out cutely, then keel over and die, causing all the onlookers weep softly :|

* SlimeyPete looks at Kitty. Is there are channel in existence which you're *not* in?!
<Kitty> SlimeyPete: you *ARE* stalking me!
<Kitty> I was here first
<Kitty> get out
<SlimeyPete> Shan't. Nyer nyer.
<SlimeyPete> besides, it's not stalking, it's just a permanent expression of love via the medium of proximity.
<Stovaa> and perpetuated by a restraining order
<Kitty> I hate you

[23:59:51] <Morti> Birthday soon.]
*** Day changed to 17 Feb 2008
[00:00:07] <Morti> Birthday now.]

* Matt happyhardcores his house
<Matt> eat some of this u suckerssss
<Dark-Side|Raptor> Matt: you truly are evil
<Matt> yah
<Matt> well
<Matt> they didnt come bcak in till 3am
<Matt> which meant they were partying, no invite to me
<Matt> so instead i invited them to my little 7am party
<Matt> in my room
<Matt> they didnt come, but i kept the tunes on anyway,, in case they felt like it

<dmc> how do you tell that a castle is gay?
<foo> dmc: by how many campsites there are...

<ben> I'd like a qualification in pshchology
<ben> "so, what do you think of X?"
<ben> "pssshh"

* SuperMatt ponders hiding some of the geekery in his room
<SuperMatt> my room is being hijacked by a girl for a few nights, someone I don't even know, and I kinda figure copies of PC gamer being left around the place is akin to leaving dildos in the bed sheets

* Moof idly wonders how much a squid costs in the UK
<red_pill> an arm and 4 legs

<Morti> I need to fix my sodding chair.
<Morti> I nearly put "shitting chair" but thought better of it.
<Morti> I suppose sodding isn't much better.
<Morti> Does avoid the whole thing of "Welcome to my home, here is my shitting chair."
<Morti> "It is where I shit."
<Morti> Be a bit like visiting Sean Connery.

<SingaporeMatt> 8 hours ahead
<SingaporeMatt> you can do the math
*** Day changed to 07 Mar 2008
<skel> i can't do math
<skel> oh. 8am? o/

<Kitty> suggested name - Nephthys
<Kitty> 01:10 <@Kitty> "She is the counterpart or twin of Isis "
<Shish> security through shunning attackers with lisps?

* Stotty peers at council tax bill - apparently I can ask for it in Polish if I want
<Jibbler> Stotty: pole tax?

<Shish> I had a dream about compressing my dreams with gzip once, so I could get more relaxation into my short amount of sleep. When I woke up I realised I was being silly, and I should have used bzip2...

<Kitty_> if I wanted to study psycology
<Kitty_> I would look in a mirror :p
<Kitty_> <-- A Psycology thesis waiting to happen
<SlimeyPete> "Who am I? A self-reflective study of the behaviour of small apes in the presence of mirrors, Author: J Freeman"

<purps> anyone wanna come to brum pride?
<purps> you can *help run a stall* :O
<Moof> not I
<purps> Moof: no, you WANT to, but are sadly currently wailing cos you can't make it
<purps> running a stall - ultimate in totty magnets
<Moof> purps: no, really, I don't want to.
* purps sticks fingers in ears
<purps> LALALALA!!!
<purps> RIGHT NOW YOU'RE CRYING WITH LOSS, LALALALA!
<Moof> purps: Oh. Indeed. See the tears that are streaming out of my eyes, uncontrolably, in a fashion vaguely reminiscent of God getting upset at everyone but Noah.
<purps> that's more like it
<Moof> I feel most distressed. I am unable to express quite how I will manage to continue to live due to this unfortunate circumstance.
* purps stops chopping onions outside your window
<purps> help run pride? will cure your ills...
<Moof> sadly, I have more pressing concerns. Matters of life and death, even. the fate of the world depends on me not being in birmingham either during pride or the weeks leading up to it.

<Illarane> Did Boris Johnson support Section 28?
<FanBoy> yes, Boris Johnson supported the creation of Torchwood

<dib> whats SPAG?
<InsomniaCity> Spelling Punctuation and Grammar
<SlimeyPete> Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar
<Morti> Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar.
<Seraph> Super Premium Unleaded Girls

<ben> "Great tits cope well with warming" -- BBC News
<ben> they certainly do, if campus is anything to go by ;)

<Trapper> court of irc now in session, sitting are Judge Morti, Judge Fanboy and Judge Deeps
<syn> OBJECTION

<Piglet> it is slightly concerning that my typing skills beat my staying vaguely upright skills
<Piglet> with retrospect I should have said no to the sambuca

<Jibbler> you know when you send an email and while it's sending you notice a horrendous typo but it's too late to stop it....
<Jibbler> i just told my mum i've been wanking all weekend

<syn> look you
<syn> who's the security expert here
<syn> i'll have you know i've written books
<Seraph> I don't think long comments on 4chan count, syn
<syn> stop being picky
<syn> copypasta is a legitimate form of fiction

* ats notes there ought to be Yorkshire Haskell
<ats> "data Maybe a = Owt a | Nowt"

* ats ponders becoming an MP just so he can make speeches that spell out rude words down the left-hand side of Hansard

* pao spotted GH3 is available for the Mac - and decided that is sooo wrong
<Stotty> pao: does the guitar only have one button? :p

* dmc pins up his "mortgage affordability certificate" that confirms that nationwide will lend me an additional 201,150 quid :)
<Stotty|work> what do you want that for?!
<dmc> I need to fill the car up with petrol next week - thought I'd make preperations in advance

<kimble> a bit like lincolnshire buses, then
<red_pill> dont all linchsire busses have webbed tires?

<skel> i hate microsoft >.<
<skel> I'll be so glad next week when i can return to hating linux and opensource software again

* Stotty grumbles at 40-minute podcasts
<Stotty> it's enough to tempt me to move 10 minutes further down the railway line!

<Trapper> iBot: HMRC kent
<iBot> HMRC kent is 0845 302 1431
<Trapper> usually it takes 40 working days to deal with post there
<Trapper> at the moment it's taking 12 weeks
<kimble> makes sense, it must take a while to search all the trains