Computer Science quotes, 2006

> --- I will check if anyone submits the work or their supervisor (;-)

So what exactly *would* happen if I submitted my supervisor?

> Subject: CS Auction
> How regally do these auctions commence?

They happen in a fairly stately fashion, but I'm afraid they've never
been by royal appointment or anything like that. Well, not so far as we
know, anyway.

Whether they should attend the lecture simply to play Tetris I guess is
up to them. Over the years I have come across people sleeping in my
lectures, doodling, kissing and... well let's not go there;)

var str = "George Bush is a master of wit";
// print more insightful comment
var newstr = str.replace(/master of /, "t");
document.write(newstr);

Q: I think its the offset that's wrong and I have to do something with
   that like the table but I can't for the life of me work out what.
   Could I have a pointer in the rough direction before I jump out the
   window?
A: Leaping from a window would probably have its concessionary benefits,
   but not good for your health, or legs. Of course, I'd never recommend
   such an action.

"Is the myth about the name Java true?"
"No. It had nothing to do with coffee. It was entirely to do with
lawyers."

The problem for me with functional programming is that you have to be a
fairly twisted individual to think functionally. [beat] No insult to
anyone here.

In many ways, the design of Java was an exercise in overt fraud.

CO612 Computer Graphics And Visualisation
The paper contains FIVE questions. Answer ZERO questions.
Calculators are not permitted.

> When do we get the Duncan it says on the assessment web page that they
> should be available on Friday week 25??????????????

"Watch out, or you'll get the Duncan!!"
Too late -
"Arrrrruuuuuugh!!"

We're working on the first week of next term for handing this assessment
back; but from my preliminary look at the Canterbury efforts, they're
generally pretty good - with one or two exceptions, where clearly people
haven't spent very much time on the project.

the Duncan

David Barnes seemed competent and friendly in lectures and genuinely
wanted us to understand what he was teaching. He perhaps lacked the
tremendous amount of enthusiasm that Matthieu seemed to have in CO320,
but Matthieu is like a God or something anyway.

Sincere thanks to the student who attached a million dollar bill to
their evaluation form - sadly, though, I have no way of knowing who it
was; so cannot award them the anticipated 100% for their exam...

Example of the two cooks:
- each cook needs a bowl and a spoon to make a cake
- cook A has the bowl, won't give it up
- cook B has the spoon, won't give it up
(result is deadlock, and no cake :-( )

To my surprise*, I've been consistently giving out some of the highest
marks I've ever awarded.
[...]
* 'surprise' - I know, I know - I shouldn't have been surprised, given
your general brilliance; but I was!

That's a serious problem, so I thought I'd solve it by using all of
these techniques at once so nobody would be offended.