QUOTES-CS-03 was last updated at Wed Jul 21 07:37:42 2004.
You can also view this file in fortune format, or as an RSS feed.
Peter Rodgers: "I need a .cshrc." bUrt: "Which?" Peter Rodgers: "Your finest."
Apologies to those who consciously avoid lectures either by Stefan or by me - it wasn't intended as a surprise that it was him lecturing this morning.
Eerke Boiten on ukc.cs.cs3
I've put this slide in because this happens to be my favourite router.
Tom Salisbury
If the access link is in heavy use then the latency goes up, which is why we're not very inclined to measure it.
Tom Salisbury
[GeeeZa dozing in a CO617 lecture; Rogerio de Lemos lecturing] Rogerio: "You, there, what do you think about this?" GeeeZa: "Me? Nothing, I was asleep." Rogerio: "Well, then, what were you dreaming about?" GeeeZa: "DANCING GIRLS!"
sys admins like donuts sys admins like donuts very much
found, inexplicably, on the board in SE14
Sometimes they'll even give you stuff that requires you to buy other stuff, because they've learnt from the drugs industry: the first hit is *always* free.
Ian Utting, talking about vendor lockin
Grid computing is a great way to make money, because all you have to do is read 1960s computing books and put "distributed" in front of everything.
Ian Utting
Did you know that when that happens, everyone in the room looks at you and thinks "Twat."?
Richard Guest, in response to a student's phone going off in a lecture
Every man and his dog can write HTML, and quite often it looks like they do.
David Shrimpton
Some people like the stability of universities. They've been around since about 1234; the only other establishments to have been around that long are the church and prostitution.
Keith Mander
Q. With all the java and computer geniuses in the department how comes you havent got a count down timer for the deadline of the assignments?? A. Stressing out students is not recommended under the Health & Safety Regulations.
CO309 Anonymous Questions
Why are you all sitting so far back? I don't smell; I have washed, honest.
Tim Hopkins
You're not a very talkative lot when it comes to numerical calculations, are you?
Tim Hopkins
Sorry about the... I like colour.
Peter Welch, putting up a bright green and yellow slide
"About Java threads, don't you think you're overreacting a bit?" "It's a *considered* overreaction."
random student and Peter Welch, about JCSP
You don't want your bank account going back to how it was yesterd-- well, maybe you do.
Peter Linington, talking about persistent state management
Welcome to the Microsoft Equation Editor Life really is too short to fix this rubbish Welcome back to the Microsoft Equation Editor The word c**p keeps coming to mind :)
Slide titles from Tim Hopkins
"You're all CS students, aren't you?" "I'm in denial."
Richard Guest and a random student
"Is there going to be a class in here?" "Yes." "Do you happen to know who'll be taking it?" "Me."
Janet Linington and Mark Callanan
I'm marking your sender assessments at the moment and some of you output error messages when you find something wrong. You really shouldn't be doing this. Who is going to read it?
John Crawford on ukc.cs.cs2
I hate to think what semantic zooming might mean for Britney Spears.
Dave Shrimpton, talking about a technique for zooming in on the important sections of an image
Doing real time for multimedia is overkill. If you lose a frame of video it's not going to cause a nuclear reactor to melt down; it's going to cause Britney's hair to flicker.
Dave Shrimpton
I think your faith in Microsoft ought to be the same as it always has been.
Dave Shrimpton
if(Math.random() < 0.33) { // and he stoppeth one of three
return null;
}Ian Utting, in example code
There's no point in doing something you can do in the real world with a computer.
Tom Kemp, in an open lecture on digital art
All those cave paintings -- there're really just cave *writing*. They didn't know about letters in those days.
Tom Kemp, in an open lecture on digital art
They're all only metaphors. A real menu you can pick up and run your finger down; it's tangible, this is just a list. Windows you can throw a brick at and they break. Just a metaphor.
Nigel Dalgliesh, without a hint of sarcasm
Can you please list all the typo and explain all these gallicisms to me?
random student on the CO309 anonymous questions page
The name of the method "WhatSon" was supposed to mean "What's on ?" and not "What Son ?". Obviously if I wanted to mean the latter I would have named my method "WhichSon" :-).
Matthew Capcarrere on the CO309 anonymous questions page
Q. What exactly is a constructor? A. To be honest, at this stage of the course, this is a worrying question.
random student and Matthew Capcarrere on the CO309 anonymous questions page
> Please come along with topics that you wish me to cover in this session. The questions (and answers) that will be in the exam paper would be nice ;-).
Richard Guest and rcw5 on ukc.cs.cs1
> Except that there won't be a CO312 module next year. New challenges for > all of us, and one massive source of marking gone, giving Peter his Life > back and me a chance to travel. Will you be travelling via a shortest path, ideally visiting each place only once?
Eerke Boiten and ajp7 on ukc.cs.cs1
-- Computer Science System Information -- Tue Jul 20 20:41:45 2004 -- This machine is not to be used as a way of circumventing the firewall, and music sharing clients, or similar, must not be run. Nothing in the CS MOTD. Shame about the size of the alert, though. http://www.cs.kent.ac.uk/systems/ cs-syshelp@kent.ac.uk -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Computer Science MOTD
Submissions and corrections to Adam Sampson <quotes@offog.org>