Welcome to the home of the UKC quotes files. You may find some of the quotes offensive; they aren't "official" in any sense, and UKC have absolutely nothing to do with them.
This page only shows the 10 most recent quotes; go to the files themselves for older quotes.
<ben> "Great tits cope well with warming" -- BBC News
<ben> they certainly do, if campus is anything to go by ;)
<dib> whats SPAG?
<InsomniaCity> Spelling Punctuation and Grammar
<SlimeyPete> Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar
<Morti> Spelling, Punctuation and Grammar.
<Seraph> Super Premium Unleaded Girls
<Illarane> Did Boris Johnson support Section 28?
<FanBoy> yes, Boris Johnson supported the creation of Torchwood
<purps> anyone wanna come to brum pride?
<purps> you can *help run a stall* :O
<Moof> not I
<purps> Moof: no, you WANT to, but are sadly currently wailing cos you can't make it
<purps> running a stall - ultimate in totty magnets
<Moof> purps: no, really, I don't want to.
* purps sticks fingers in ears
<purps> LALALALA!!!
<purps> RIGHT NOW YOU'RE CRYING WITH LOSS, LALALALA!
<Moof> purps: Oh. Indeed. See the tears that are streaming out of my eyes, uncontrolably, in a fashion vaguely reminiscent of God getting upset at everyone but Noah.
<purps> that's more like it
<Moof> I feel most distressed. I am unable to express quite how I will manage to continue to live due to this unfortunate circumstance.
* purps stops chopping onions outside your window
<purps> help run pride? will cure your ills...
<Moof> sadly, I have more pressing concerns. Matters of life and death, even. the fate of the world depends on me not being in birmingham either during pride or the weeks leading up to it.
<Kitty_> if I wanted to study psycology
<Kitty_> I would look in a mirror :p
<Kitty_> <-- A Psycology thesis waiting to happen
<SlimeyPete> "Who am I? A self-reflective study of the behaviour of small apes in the presence of mirrors, Author: J Freeman"
<Shish> I had a dream about compressing my dreams with gzip once, so I could get more relaxation into my short amount of sleep. When I woke up I realised I was being silly, and I should have used bzip2...
* Stotty peers at council tax bill - apparently I can ask for it in Polish if I want
<Jibbler> Stotty: pole tax?
<Kitty> suggested name - Nephthys
<Kitty> 01:10 <@Kitty> "She is the counterpart or twin of Isis "
<Shish> security through shunning attackers with lisps?
<SingaporeMatt> 8 hours ahead
<SingaporeMatt> you can do the math
*** Day changed to 07 Mar 2008
<skel> i can't do math
<skel> oh. 8am? o/
<Morti> I need to fix my sodding chair.
<Morti> I nearly put "shitting chair" but thought better of it.
<Morti> I suppose sodding isn't much better.
<Morti> Does avoid the whole thing of "Welcome to my home, here is my shitting chair."
<Morti> "It is where I shit."
<Morti> Be a bit like visiting Sean Connery.
Submissions and corrections to Adam Sampson <quotes@offog.org>